Too Much Nonsense – My Personal Blog

I should have started blogging about this two years ago, but things were different back then. The following is the story of my Arachnoid Cyst. What is a Arachnoid Cyst you ask? This is Wikipedia’s definition – Arachnoid cysts are cerebrospinal fluid covered by arachnoidal cells and collagen that may develop between the surface of the brain and the cranial base or on the arachnoid membrane, one of the three membranes that cover the brain and the spinal cord. Arachnoid cysts are a congenital disorder and most cases begin during infancy; however, onset may be delayed until adolescence.

The Symptoms

We went to Lake Tahoe for a week in late February of 2007. About 4 days into the trip I woke up one morning and turned on the TV. When the TV came on I noticed it didn’t sound right. In my left ear I was hearing a electronic echo. At first I thought it was the television so I asked my son and the future ex if they heard it. They didn’t, so I knew it was me. The resort we were staying at was at about eight thousand feet elevation, and the night before I was drinking beer and hanging out in the hot tub with my son until about 1 in the morning in 29 degree weather. So I figured it was the altitude, the beer and the late cold night in the hot tub. I dismissed it

When we got home from the trip, I still had the electronic noise in my ear. I only really noticed it when the television was on. I could still hear people talking to me, so I figured it was the altitude. A couple of days later I went to work. I answered the phone for the first time, and couldn’t understand anything the person was saying when I had the phone to my left ear. My right ear was fine. This continued on for a few days so I figured I must have gotten an ear infection.

The Primary Care Doctor

After about 2 weeks of this I finally called my primary care doctor to make an appointment since it seemed to be getting worse. It took 4 weeks before I could see him. During the wait to see the doctor I started to get dizzy when I got up from a sitting position. I figured it was because of the ear. When I saw him, he did the usual primary care doctor stuff. I took the basic hearing test and passed. He looked in my ear and said, “It looks good to me, you should go see an Ears, Nose and Throat doctor”. It was exactly what I expected.

The ENT Doctor

It took six weeks to get the appointment to see the ENT doctor. I wasn’t in any pain, so it was par for the course. During the six week wait, my hearing was getting way worse and the dizziness was turning into vertigo. I was now dizzy all the time when I was standing. By the time I went to see him, I couldn’t walk down a hall way unless I had my finger on the wall to help my brain stabilize me. I started to get these dropping sensations where I felt I was going to fall. I never did. When I saw the ENT doctor, I took the more advanced hearing test. This one I failed. He said I that I had lost my mid range hearing and that’s why I had that electronic echo sound in my ear. He also said that the vertigo was because my hearing was shot and my brain was readjusting. The vertigo should go away when my brain becomes accustomed to the change in hearing. His reasoning for why this was happening was because I was 42. “This is when your body starts to fall apart”, he said. I bought into it. It made sense. He wanted me to get an MRI just to make sure it wasn’t something else that was causing it, just to be sure.

The MRI Technician – He Did Not Have a Good Poker Face

The future ex and I go to the MRI appointment. When the technician came to get me for the MRI thrill ride he was a very friendly, jovial guy. The kind of guy you could see yourself being friends with. When the MRI ride was over, he totally changed. A Dr. Jekell and Mr. Hyde kind of change. He went from Jovial to stone faced serious. I casually asked him, “So how does everything look”? In a very serious, dead pan tone he said, “You have to discuss it with your doctor. We will send the results to him this afternoon”. The future ex witnessed the change in behavior and we knew something was up.

The Miss File Wait

So I knew something was up. I went home and waited for “the phone call”, “Mr. Bates, you have a brain tumor”. 1 day passed, 1 week passed, no phone call from the Doctors office. The hearing and the vertigo is getting worse. After a week, I called the ENT doctors office to inquire about my MRI results. The receptionist says that she will have the doctor call me. 1 day passed, 3 days passed, no phone call. I call again, the receptionist says the same thing. We repeat the 3 day cycle yet again. I call again, this time I’m way more assertive and the receptionist guarantees me that he will call me that day.

The ENT Doctor was Asleep During His Bed Side Manner Class

To set this up properly you need to know that my ENT doctor is gay. He has a definite lean toward the feminine side, especially when he talks. Just imagine a comedy skit involving a feminine gay guy in a panic.

I get the call at work at about 4:45pm. He says, (talking a million miles an hour) “Oh my god Mr. Bates you have and Arachnoid Cyst; I don’t even know what that is; I’m trying to look it up right know but none of my books cover it; I’m not a neurologist; you need to go see an neurosurgeon immediately; I have to go, I have to call your primary care doctor right away; I have to go.” That was it for the first phone call. It lasted all of about 45 seconds. The only thing I was able to say was O.K. I was a bit in shock and didn’t know what to make of it. A Neurosurgeon? I knew that wasn’t good.

He calls me back about 10 minutes later, still in a panic, but now he’s down to about 500,000 words a minute. “Mr. Bates, I spoke to your primary doctor, he will call you shortly with your referral; I’m so sorry it took so long to call you about this, but my staff just filed the report away without looking at; I still do not know what an Arachnoid cyst is but you definitely need to see a Neurosurgeon.”

My primary doctor, who did pay attention in bed side manner class called me about 10 minutes later. He gave me a generic description of what I had and gave me the referral to the Neurosurgeon.

The First Neurosurgeon – What A Asshole

With referral in hand I call the Neurosurgeon. The message on the line said that they were on vacation and wouldn’t be back for 3 days. I left a message. I waited 5 days, no return phone call. I call and leave another message. 3 days go by, no return phone call. I call again and leave another message. That same day some lady calls back and makes an appointment for me 6 weeks out. Six weeks out??? Are they crazy? I call my Primary care doctor and give him the scoop. He calls them to explain the situation. The neurosurgeons office calls me back and up’s my appointment day to the next week. Three days later they call back, now they tell me the doctor is not accepting any new patients. WTF? What Assholes. This wasted two weeks. It is now mid June, about four months after symptoms started. I call the primary care doctor and give him the newest scoop. He gives me a referral to another neurosurgeon.

The Second Neurosurgeon – This Goes Much Better

I am now thoroughly disgusted with doctors and I dread making the phone call. I’m expecting to get the whole run around again. To my surprise the neurosurgeons office calls me the first thing next morning. They want to make my appointment for the next day. Needless to say I’m pleasantly surprised.

I liked this guy right off the bat. He was nutty and real. Doesn’t hold his punches and thoroughly explains what’s going on and give me my options.

• Option 1 – Crack the skull open and remove the whole thing. Be off work for 6 months. Very invasive surgery
• Option 2 – Insert a Ventriculoperitoneal shunt (VP shunt for short). Be off work for a month. Much less invasive.

He pushes for option 1. If that doesn’t work then we can do the more invasive surgery. I agreed. So I’m set, let’s make the surgery date. Then he asks me If I’m married, oh great I thought… He’s going to hit on me… I told him yes. He insisted on making another appointment for another consultation the next week. He called it the significant other consultation. I insisted it wasn’t needed. She doesn’t care and she’s too inept to understand what we will be talking about. (See.. In the back of my head I knew she didn’t love me) It would be a waste of time and then I would have to try to explain everything to her again, even though she was there and heard everything. He insisted, so I had no choice. Yes….., I did have to re-explain everything to her about ten times.

The Surgery

The surgery went well. The VP shunt was installed without a hitch…. It was now draining the excess cerebrospinal fluid out of the cyst, relieving the pressure on my brain.

Now the real fun is just beginning.. The story gets stranger from here. In my next installment I’ll talk about the after math of having the shunt installed and the wild ride it took me on.

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